Sail away (day 0)

Tomorrow. My departure is tomorrow. I am going for a test of my freedom. I am going to live, travel and work on Gran Canaria island for one month.

Let’s see if these language teaching efforts are able to bring me some traveling independence. Let’s see if I can hit the road with the dog. That is my biggest concern, to be honest if Daisy will be fine during the flight. I believe she will, but I am worried about her anyway. She is  super scared of everything – strange and loud noises in the plane will be nothing pleasant for her. But we have the sedatives from the vet, which should calm her down, and help her to be less stressed.

There were many things I had to sort out, to think of, many people to call, many things to worry about. I was sorting out the travel insurance last minute (of course). I got the travel cage for dogs. My mum said Daisy could stick her paw out and break it. My mum can always calm me down and give me the support  I need. So I asked my mum to make something like a dog bed, with high sides, that we will be able to put inside the cage, so the sleepy sedated dog is comfortable and safe inside, and cannot stick the paw out of the cage. Mum was busy for 4 full days, and she didn’t have a chance to think of other negative and dramatic scenarios. Thank god. And the result was great! I Two birds one stone.

Daisy got her dog-period, I do not know the right expression, but you know what I mean. It means that she can get pregnant. Great. Once or twice a year we have this little drama to deal with, and it must be NOW! And her paw is hurting again. The doctor put her surgery off for various reasons, and he is aware that she is limping sometimes, but he said that there is not much of a chance that we can make it worse. He agreed that she is fine to go with me on holiday and that we wíll go for surgery when we come back.

So we’ve got this expensive dog-flight ticket, the cage I had to buy, the sedatives and vaccination, my ticket and insurance, PCR test, oh well, it’s not a cheap holiday. And we have a limping dog, scared of everything, with a period, which means that she cannot just walk freely around and that I will have to look after her very carefully. Some people said, “Just leave her at home.“ Even my mum and my brother did. I thought about it and I felt unsure about the whole plan, but after I spoke with my psychologist, I decided to take all the responsibility, I decided it is worth the risk, and I decided we will manage.  

All day I was accumulating the good protective energy in my mind, and wrapping the cage in it. I was creating an imaginary protective shell around the cage, so the dog inside will be safe, and nothing bad can happen. I enjoy trying to influence things by visualization. A little girl who was scared often explained these techniques to me in the last book I read. After I read this book I try to play games with pictures and imagination in my head more often. I still needed to do something on the last day, but I was at the same time constantly pumping my energy into the protective spell.

I taught my last online lesson, I packed all my things and by the end of a day, I was exhausted like I would run a marathon. Mind work is as exhausting as physical work sometimes. But I got a bit better while packing clothes. I guess I had a lot of female hormones floating through my body at that time because I got excited packing all the nice T-shirts, tops, skirts, and dresses. The pile of the things I wanted to take with me was huge, and it was hard for me to review it and choose the pieces which I would leave at home. Slowly the pile got smaller and smaller. With the music, it was fun to do this job and to try different pieces of clothes which I didn’t wear for ages and see in the mirror how do I look in it. I was done around midnight and I felt like I need fresh air.

So I decided to go for a little walk up to a viewpoint and smoke a little. I do not smoke on a regular basis, but occasionally it helps me to calm down my mind. We walked through the quiet night town, up the hill by the enchanted stairway. “Travel alone – Frenic”. That was the song for this occasion. I love this melody so much. There is a little terrace with a gorgeous view over the town and with a bench. I sat there with my headphones for a while. Daisy was fetching a wooden stick and we were both happy. The star constellation of Orion was shining brightly over my head, like it would be there for me that night, as my guardian who will take care of us, so we don’t have to worry. At least I believed in it at that moment. I am able to believe in things, which I don’t normally believe in, in moments of need. I smiled at Orion, and I asked him to look after my doggo. I said goodbye to my beloved town and got ready for the way back home. The music goes on in my ears of course.

The song of Enya was resonating between my ears, my brain, and my heart as I was walking slowly down the hill.

„Sail away, sail away, sail away…

from the deep sea of clouds to the island of the moon,…

Carry me on the waves to the lands I’ve never seen,..

Let me sail, let me sail, let the Orinoco flow….“

(Enya – Orinoco flow)

Everything will be fine. I believe I am strong enough to manage everything, to find a way how to sort all the trouble out, and I believe that when my strength will not be enough, there will be people around to help me.